Sorry that it has taken me a little longer then I planned to share my thoughts and answer.
Please make sure you have read this posting, How do you answer this? along with all the comments before reading my response below.
Brian, I love you brother! You had the exact response of my own feelings hitting it all right on the nail! Here's the first part of what Brian said:
My response is this: those kids need their mom and dad. Period. This isn't anything against you, David, because I know you'll be the best dad ever when you (and a wife, whoever God has in store for you) have kids. When I was in Russia, I experienced something strange: the Russian women (college students) in our program wanted desperately to "snag" one of the American guys so we would take them home with us to America. That was just out of the question.
Like Brian said, Jeneta needs her mom and dad. That is not something I can ever replace. Yes I can give her fatherly love that she would experience in the love of God I have for her. But how would you deal with an 8 year old girl who cries because she is missing her mom and dad? Keep in mind she is an Albanian girl. That doesn't mean I can't love her, but she doesn't speak English yet! No matter how much she learns, there will always be some experiences she is having that she will never be able to fully explain and that I would never be able to fully understand. Some things that only Albanians would know due to their culture and language fluency. Jeneta needs the love of her mother and father just as we all need the love of our Heavenly Father.
Most of you will probably agree with the above comments. Let's move into another area that you may not all agree with that I feel very strongly about. Brian also brought it up and I'm going to take a little bit further spin into the area as well...
The second part of what Brian said:
The real question is this: what is the "good life"? What makes a life better? Is it the material things that we have here? Is it the opportunities we have? Sure, those things are good, but it's the love of Jesus makes my life good, no matter what I have or don't have. That is what I would want Jeneta to have.
What is best for Jeneta? I don't think that living in America just to have the good life of more material things is what is best for anyone. Yes life may be easier or you may be better off. Not as much of a struggle with poverty, hunger, cold, clothes. Jeneta has had on the same outfit for warmth on all of the 4 nights we have been there. But what do these material things do to the soul? I've seen many children in poverty that are much better off as people due to their situations. They appreciate the simpler and smaller things of life much more. Just having a ball that they made themselves is a wonder to them. They take care of it. Yes they still desire more material things. But due to the lack of them, they spend much more time with family and friends. Relationships are much stronger and more meaningful. And they treat guests with the most hospitality I have ever seen. More then most Americans due. A little funny isn't it? One American family has more then most poverish small villages due, but it's those families in that small village that will serve you their only goat that they used for milk to feed you and treat you right as their guest. Actually, it's not funny at all. It's downright sickening. I've learned more about hospitality from the children and families that live in poverty in other countries then I have from Americans. Yet these same people that I've learned it from, grow up thinking that America is a great place. They believe that there are much greater opportunities for them there. I'm not saying they are wrong. In fact many of them venture there and achieve a better standard of living and I don't mean by material things. I mean by health care, education, needs of food, water, and clothing/shelter. And most of them send money back to their families to help them achieve these basic things. For the first generation or two, these families that make it to America still have their family values and hospitality. Shortly though, America works on them and they become tainted by our greed and lack of quality relationships in life. America has become more tuned into technology then it has into the people that make the technology work. It's a sad state that we are in.
That's just the material side of things and how I see it relating to our attitudes and attributes in life. And like Brian said, with the love of God, it doesn't matter where we are. Abiding in Him brings all the joy that one needs.
So what is best for Jeneta? I will not deny that she would have a much better education, her basic needs have a better opportunity of being cared for here, and her chances for making it in life would be higher. But is it really the best thing for her family, values, and soul? That I do not believe America is the place to be to develop those attributes. And to me, those are the most important of them all.
